This post, and much of my writing, is for people who have been through an initial spiritual awakening, and are seeking ways to facilitate their upgrade process for the purposes of healing, stepping more fully onto their soul-path, and eventually embodying a position of grounded leadership or service.
Previously I posted about specialty traits in empaths, a major one being the experience of 'having thin skin." Thin skin means being sensitive to energy or emotions, such as electromagnetic frequencies, people who have crossed-over, chi flow in houses, or the unspoken feelings of other people, etc..
There is a distinction between 'empaths' and 'highly sensitive people (HSP).' HSP folks have a genetic trait that is similar to having sensory issues. They reach a state of input overload in the nervous system more quickly than non HSPs, and it's my understanding that this trait affects around 30 percent of people. Empaths can be HSP and vice versa, but neither are necessarily both. Empaths however may have any number of things going on. It could be that they have trauma-induced sensitivities, openings in their energy bodies, or mental health concerns that render them more susceptible to outside energies (or perhaps their sensitivities aggravate their mental health). They could come from a lineage or tradition that cultivated and nourished their sensitivities purposefully. For the purpose of this post it doesn't really matter. My point is it can be helpful to identify what We/You experience as strengths, to be able to use them for our benefit and the benefit of others, and to dispel any fears or issues around them.
There are pros and cons. Many empaths/HSPs are troubled by their sensitivities, especially if they tend to take on dense or negative vibrations that are generated outside of themselves. It can rock us to the core to feel and see certain things, and for many, it causes a great deal of cognitive dissonance, confusion, shame or denial, especially if the person was reared in a tradition that is highly logical/rational/scientific, religious, or what have you. Fear of being labeled a witch or a weirdo is a tough thing for many people.
All humans are innately able to perceive and send out subtle energies. An empath or high-sensitive simply has a system of perception that is extra tuned-in and susceptible to the subtle energies or emotions around them. It is more difficult for them to ignore, but, this could be considered and developed as a superpower as opposed to a weakness. Similar to people who are not neuro-typical having a tendency toward highly developed cognitive intelligences, or the superpower of people who are extremely physical, strong, and courageous (warrior archetypes), though they may be less emotionally attuned (as example). We all have our perks in various ratios.
To elaborate on the benefit of the empath type of superpower I need to evoke the feeling of being an extra-terrestrial, high vibrational being. If you were an ET, and your race did not use verbal language, what would it use to communicate? It would most likely use emotions and telepathy to convey specific energetic impressions as well as light and sound frequencies. I think a lot of empaths identify as starseeds because we can somehow sense that these skills are paramount in a society of highly-evolved consciousness. It is the power of communication, and healing.
I see it as an ability that needs to be developed to further the evolution of humanity in a time when frequencies are accelerating rapidly. If we choose to stay updated we can be at the top of our game through this process, and step into leadership roles to assist others as they awaken and upgrade. How we do this is two things:
1. Learn how to develop our skills of perception and intuition, and to translate our perceptions into meaningful or helpful information. This guides us in our actions, responses, and choices, and assists us in the second task which is:
2. Processing, integrating, and healing old stuff, so we can process current issues more efficiently and effectively. If we can stay updated and current in our lives and issues, and have a proper emotional/energetic/psychological hygiene practice, we can accelerate quite rapidly. This in turn deepens our sensitivity and ability to perceive and translate energy, and we see positive changes in all aspects of our lives.
The point of this post is to encourage people who feel bogged down by their sensitivities to consider getting some training or teachings regarding these processes. Proper training and teachings are important for gaining ethical clarity, and for earning the privilige of the trust of other people. This matters if we don't want to create more karmic attachments, but do want to clear old patterns and baggage, to become lighter. It also matters if we support balance and reciprocity, that we support spiritual sovereignty and autonomy. We help people to be empowered, not take power from them by giving it to ourselves (assuming we are all-knowing and have the authority to tell others how to conduct their lives without being asked for assistance). That is ego out-of-balance.
Here's a scenario: an empath who has strong natural psychic abilities may easily perceive energies, thoughts, or scenarios that are playing out in people's lives. They may not even want to receive this information, but they do. Often the empath has a strong desire to assist and help others, so the psychic empath may begin telling people what they see surrounding them. A person who lacks traditional teachings, trainings, or ethical understandings, may go about planting seeds in other peoples heads that can cause that person to change the course of their lives. This creates a strong karmic attachment. It is not a neutral thing if it causes an imbalance. The teaching around this has to do with the principle of reciprocity, that which keeps things in balance. This is why it's so important for people to be compensated for their work. If someone needs advice they will seek it out and make an offering in exchange. There is no need to force anything.
So, even if you are naturally skilled, I do suggest finding an ethical teacher or healing tradition to consult, especially if you feel called to be of service, to be a healer, or to be in any position of leadership. Our society has forgotten and suppressed these skills, and offers very little to us as education on these matters. This is why so many Westerners are turning to indigenous wisdom keepers. That path can be a rabbit hole and is it's own topic. There are certainly a lot of skilled energy workers and healers who do offer workshops and classes. Get clear on what your path is, what is best for you, and choose a teacher wisely. Many teachers have authority issues or still carry distorted energies relating to power, reputation, and money. Find a humble person, and always trust yourself. Ask questions. Be aware of red flags, but trust that the path you seek will be presented to you in synchronicity and with blessings. Always consult your guts and your sacrum. Even if your path should lead to some unsavory experiences for you (I dealt with sexual assault and the loss of some of my mentors within a certain lineage for example), the experiences may lead you into a much deeper understanding of that which you are seeking. We can't control how things will play out. It is so important to remember that your path is yours, and that you do not need to have a cult-like connection to your teachers, or an unwavering loyalty or obedience, or to shell out thousands of dollars. You can be on your own path without sacrificing your autonomy, and without having your teachings and training define who you are. They are simply tools that can be used to empower the heart, or the ego. The choice is up to you.
If you’ve been reading my blog, you know I’ve been dabbling a little in uncovering sexual repression and understanding the psychological nature of certain kinks. Bondage specifically, as well as age play, power dynamics, and pain/punishment. I have to say I admire the kink community so much for their willingness to not be ashamed of their bodies and desires. It’s absolutely revolutionary. I know there are a lot of high-vibrating empaths in the community, and there are also people who have been broken by life’s injustices. I don’t know how many of them are using kink to further their evolution, self expression, relationships, communication skills, and healing processes, but I imagine a good deal of them are. Thank you kinky people!
I also want to talk about Transparency. Transparency is a principle as well as a process. The process of living by the principle, involves polishing what is opaque until it becomes clear and shiny, psychologically speaking. It is the grand work of shadow transformation/alchemy, and my favorite topic. I dedicated myself to entering full transparency this year, no matter the ruts in the road. This means, there must be an unmasking. Nothing to hide, nor to hide from. There are subtle nuances and mastery practices to hone of course. For example, a person who lives in transparency does not simply speak the truth regardless of outcome. Transparency is see-through, and can see through. It is intuition-perception. It can see how the truth will be received. Being an aspect of light, it allows others to be where they are. It does not create more karma, but it clears the road, so everything in its path can come up to be dealt with, reconciled, healed. Transparency is the acceleration of frequency.
There is an entire book on this topic by Penney Peirce. It is called Transparency. I highly recommend it. Here are a few quotes she collected for her book:
A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged; it is the skin of a living thought and may vary greatly in color and content according to the circumstances and time in which it is used. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
The man who never avoids what he actually is will soon change and elevate whatever he is. - Vernon Howard
The largest part of what we call “personality” is determined by how we’ve opted to defend ourselves against anxiety and sadness. - Alain de Botton
Keep your heart clear and transparent, and you will never be bound. A single disturbed thought creates ten thousand distractions. - Ryokan
Now, part of my path toward full transparency (not just occilating from opacity to transparency and back again), involved shoveling through a bunch of shit. If I had to look at it as a linear process, I might say the first layers were denial and avoidance. Then repressed anger (I’m not as nice as I thought), then shame under that. Shame is always buried in the deepest parts of the basement. That shame for me revealed a lot of sexual repression, self-doubt, etc.
When I have anxiety about something, especially regarding a relationship I don’t want to lose, my process is to sit with it. It might say (fear) ‘I’m afraid of ruining this thing’. Then (anger) ‘I’m so tired of being unseen or unheard’. Then (shame) ‘What is wrong with me?’ Then (transparency) ‘I am facing something that has been hidden and repressed because of many generations of social conditioning. My ancestors repressed this thing for survival purposes, and I now reject myself.’ (As example, expressing one’s emotions may lead to rejection, ridicule, etc.). My society rejects this thing for reasons I’d rather not unpack now.
But here’s the thing about this revelation. I need to acknowledge who I am and what I am. I know that my emotional life is of primary importance to me. I have a poet’s heart, am highly sensitive, and am an emotional generator. I am a fountain of emotional abundance. This is not the same for everyone, but it is for many of us. For that, if I live in a society that shames emotional authenticity, I must face that reality at some point and how it affects my self-worth. The generations of programming and repression and fear. If emotions are not acceptable, then I am not acceptable. This is the shame.
To bring this to transparency requires COURAGE, passion.. It requires a big fat self-pep talk on an as-needed basis. And then to find clarity and skill in communication. Most of all it requires radical self-love. This is a mastery path that is extremely under-appreciated in society, outside of psychotherapy settings. So, this path feels awfully lonesome sometimes. Nevertheless we move forward.
Moving on to bondage. Well, the shame aspects of sexuality, self-doubt, all the stuff that is opaque, the perversion of the raw creative human potential, all that stuff is not just going to disappear just because it has finally been acknowledged. It takes some workshopping. Sexual expression is a powerful workshop option because, it connects the psyche, the emotions, the mind, brain, the need for human connection and relationship, and very importantly the body. What else can do that?
Side note: I know that a lot of western folks are super into tantra. It’s strictly spiritual I guess? I don’t know much about it. I have contacts in India who have told me tantra in India is considered very dark, and its practices are very dark. Something about graveyards and fecal matter? Don’t ask, I really don’t know. But the western take on it seems pretty spiritually oriented, love and light. That’s fine and all, but what does tantra say about bondage, flagellation, etc? Do all sexual aspects fit into that path?
Kink is cool because it lets you be raw and dirty. There are no airs about being holy. It’s a complete 180 from the puritanical environment that got us into this shame in the first place. So here’s my latest understanding of the bondage dynamic in my psyche.
Naturally, I am going to look at the inner child(ren), because those are the parts of us that feel the weight of separation and abandonment the most. The core wound many of us have. That child is like wtf, why have I been ignored and abandoned, what is wrong with me? I must be bad. I’m ashamed of myself now, for I have done something to be undeserving of total love, safety, affection, and emotional responsiveness. I suppose I’ll just be a good little girl/boy/person and hope someone loves me how I want them to, or, maybe I'll just be a little unruly and wreak havoc in my anger. Either way...
I’ll say it plain. Bondage feels to me like the part of the inner child that wants to belong, is having the experience of being literally tied up, nailed down, and bonded to someone they love on a very visceral, physical, and dense level. It’s not just some ethereal soul-bond. It’s a raw physical expression of belonging, and one that can bring the body, brain and psyche into alignment with that sense of belonging. This means the unmet need of that aspect of the soul and inner child can finally be met. At least in a workshop type of way. (This may not seem like much of a revelation but it's a far cry from shame, repression, and self-loathing!)
So, the paradox of bondage is... that it has the power to SET FREE subconscious material that has been bound up in opacity. Shame, self-doubt, fear, and self-love deficiencies can come to be acknowledged and played with. And what a nice way to have fun and connect with a lover too, no? Share your thoughts please! Xo
Disclaimer: bondage, like rock climbing, can be dangerous. You have to know about arteries, the nervous system, consent culture and practices, and communication. Please take some classes before engaging!
Hi! Welcome to my blog. I am a quantum and shamanic practitioner and energy worker, an herbalist, and an educator. My current spiritual hobbies include exploring interdimensional realms, planetary gridwork/lightwork, ceremony work, sound technologies, and shadow integration. I identify as empath, high-sensitive, and starseed. My mission is to serve spiritual evolution through love, and the reclamation of spiritual sovereignty.